Date: Fri, 7 Jan 2000 10:54:20 -0500 
From: "Mohammed Ahsan" <mohammed.ahsan@xxxxxxxx.xxx.xxxx 

Subject: Reducing Intolerance and Conflicts- III

This is the third and last part of my article on the issue of Intolerance and Conflict. In part I, we analyzed the root causes that breed Intolerance and had identified three major factors to that effect and those were:

Negativity;
State of Swinging Minds; and
Individualism and Grouping of Similar Minds

In Part II, we looked at the cultural transformation that gave rise to our intolerant attitudes and hatred after our liberation and provided some recommendations on dealing with Negativity of our attitudes. In Part III, we will look at the two remaining factors.

1. Dealing with the Swinging Minds

If one is critical and detailed enough, one would observe the sort of pattern our minds go through that demonstrates the pendulum like motion of our minds. This pattern is basically a cycle of 3-4 years. It is very easy for us to reverse our positions in no time and take new positions without any sense of guilt. If one looks at our political spectrum or social circles or in the communities, one can understand what I am talking about. There are glaring examples of us taking one atop our head and dance around with deepest respect and then in no time, we dump and throw that very person away, even to the extent of not shading a single drop of tear for his/her demise.

How is that possible? Are we having an identity crisis as to who we are or what do we stand for? Or is it that we have been overtaken by the opportunistic senses that we have sold away our conscience and principles. There are three major steps that we need to undertake in managing our swinging minds.

a. Planting the Seeds of Decisiveness

Again as in the previous case, we need to go back to our childhood upbringing. Currently, most of our teachings at school and at home prepare us to be timid and indecisive. Nothing can explain this better than the famous poem of "Pachey Lokey Kisu Boley". We are constantly haunted by this phenomenon at all levels. Our life long decisions are based on what other people think about us rather than what we think to be the best for us. This phenomenon has the most devastating effect in creating the state of swinging minds. Based on our perceptions of what other peoples think we constantly adapt ourselves and compromise our positions. The more we grow the better we become in perceiving what others think about us and therefore, become more prone to swinging minds. In order to be decisive we need to understand the variables that govern our lives and should have some scenarios built into our mindset about the pros and cons of various scenarios.

When we evaluate each situation, we should be able to vet those scenarios against our lives, our principles, the guiding philosophies, and its effects on our future. We can only be decisive if we have a clear picture of these factors in our mind. The question remains how do we build ourselves to be more decisive? The first and foremost is our ability to evaluate situations objectively and be able to relate that to our own beliefs, principles, conscience, and above all our future objectives. The most critical thing that one needs to practice in our schools and home alike is to build our orientations and the value system. This can be done in two ways.

First through Community mentoring program. Through this program, the initial orientations of individuals will be assessed using some pre-defined criteria. Ones the orientations are clear enough then a group of young boys will be assigned to one of the community leaders to be the mentor of that Group. The mentoring program will have value building activities with fun and humor. This will keep the young members motivated enough to participate in such community programs. The use of adequate co and extra-curricular activities would be appropriate tools for value building efforts. The schools also can play a dominant role in the value building exercises through setting up cultural events every other Saturday for example, where the students will participate in debates, extemporary speeches, songs, recitations etc.

b. Eradicating Timidity from Our Hearts

The root of timid behavior is an unknown fear inside that engulfs us from all sides and stops us from making our positions and points clear around. The seeds of timidity are sown intentionally in the minds of young children so that when they grow up they will not be innovative enough and thus easier to manage through intimidation. How does timidity induce swinging minds? If one has a timid mind, his/her decisions and personal positions will be based on what he/she fears and those will change constantly based on the people he/she mixes with at a given time. The main component of our management style back home is the element of fear, not love,respect, and mutual understanding. We try to get people's loyalty through the element of fear. And unfortunately, for very unknown reasons, we have kept our early education system intact to appease our colonial bosses so that the children can grow up timid.

One of the most destabilizing state of our minds is our timidity. You are fed at home by the fear of "Vut and Petni", You are told to eat a certain type of food by the fear of what did not happen to someone else. In the school you finish your homework because a particular teacher will beat you up if you do not make your homework. Most of the things we undertake in our childhood are due to our fear for someone or something. We never do things because we enjoy doing it. This trend has to be reversed and the change has to come from within our homes, from our parents first and then taken to the schools and communities. There has to be a consorted effort from the government, the community leaders, the schools and the religious institutions alike to eradicate this element of fear from the minds and hearts of our growing generation that is cheaping away our national stamina.

2. Dealing with Individualism and Grouping of Similar Minds

Diversity of opinion and minds are the greatest strengths of any community or a nation. The very secret of our creation is diversity. All the signs of strengths strewn around in nature are one of diversity. The best examples of Grouping that are strewn around us are based on the philosophy of joining the hands of complimentary needs whereby the strengths of one compliments the weaknesses of others and the vice versa holds the truth as well. The best example of partnership building is one that of "water". The basic need of Oxygen and Hydrogen are met by the strengths of each other and thus the formation of water, one of the most stable compounds. The philosophy of bonding and grouping in our country unfortunately is the similarity of thoughts rather the diversity. And the most influential one in the Group always tends to dominate the others and makes sure that the intellectual capacity of others with a similar thought are less than one of his/hers in order to stamp out any threat.

If there are two beings with similar strengths then one will split from the other and create his/her own circle taking away a part of the group with him/her. We are unable to make bonds of strengths amongst ourselves. In most of our relationship building efforts whether it is group or individual it is always the mixing of the weaks with same mindset. That's why the philosophy of "Chamchagiri" is so very prominent in our culture. Limited successes in our country can be attributed to the individual excellence and not the institutional one. How do we reverse the wheel of relationship building in our country?

a. Institute Formal Partnership Building Exercises in Our Education System

Our education system unfortunately again is the biggest obstacle in promoting the spirit of partnerships. There are no group studies or assignments in our early education system. There are no group discussions nor are there any elements of partnership building exercises. The teachers can be the biggest mentors of partnership because of their early influences in our lives. The concept of home works should be changed with more innovative Group Works, where a group of students with varying skills sets may be grouped to perform a particular task. This will help institute the sense of partnerships and the team building as well.

Sense of partnerships and teamwork should be embedded into our system early on so that before we enter colleges we are able to take that spirit as a part of our culture. We should be able to manage calculated chaos that is created in group events. We should also promote group events in our field and tracks more than the individual events. Individual skills and intelligence is also important but should be developed with a sense that everyone has something positive to contribute.

b. Institutionalize Our Efforts

Let the people revolve around the systems not the other way around. In most cases, our countrymen work the other way round. Where individual strengths creates its own system and survives only until that individual is alive. The demise of that individual tends to take away the whole systems with him/her. When the new one comes, he/she creates his/her own system. The chain continues and that is the reason why we are unable to build institutions. Another obstacle to creating institutions is the individual sense of recognition, the feeling that "people need me" even when I am not there is a wonderful feeling to have. We have some sort of individual satisfaction when someone calls us during holidays and ask for advise and help.

 This is our internal ego hat dominates the philosophy of our life. Even the most educated ones from our society have the same sense of satisfaction. What an unfortunate saga? We just do not understand what type of harm we are inflicting this nation with by harboring and teaching such philosophies of life to our children. The success of a leader is that the work continues normally even in his absence not that the system collapses when the leader is not there. I am not saying there are no exceptions. In order to do so, we have to start changing our mindset of individualism and start building institutions. The process has to start now otherwise we would be too late to catch the train.

The End