Who needs conflict resolution?

January 2, 2000

[This poem was written in a particular context for a distinctive Bangladeshi internet forum, Shetubondhon.]

Salam and greetings.

Shetubondhon has chosen conflict resolution-related subject as its first Topic of the Month. A few months ago I was about to quit all these Bangladeshi internet discussion forums. Seeing what seems to be so common among us as culture, I wanted to verbalize it. Therefore, who needs conflict resolution, when we can have the following resolution?

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LET'S HAVE A RESOLUTION!

If we can help someone, we won't;
If we can hurt, we shall!
If we can cheer up anyone, who cares?
If we can make upset, get ready my pal!

If we can be polite, we won't be!
If we can be rude, it's what we do well!
If we can handshake, don't bother;
If we can pinch, we feel really swell!

If we can reason, we feel out of season;
If we can coerce, isn't that cool?
If we can welcome, that's old fashioned;
If we can dislodge others, let's make that our tool!

If we can please someone, that's so dull;
If we can annoy, it brings us joy!
If we can bless you, what's that now?
If we can curse you, we are no coy!

If we can have a dialog, that's no fun;
If we can have brawl, let's have some!
If we can charm you, we won't;
If we can harm you, get ready, you bum!

If we can speak softly, who would listen?
If we can wrangle, we definitely shall!
If we can embrace you - what a terrible thought!;
If we can offend you, get ready my pal!

If we are Muslims, no one else is good!
If we are non-Muslims, let's turn the Muslims into food;
If we are Hindus, who else are better?
If we are non-Hindus, demeaning the Hindus is what we should!

If we are freedom fighters, "fundamentalists" must be gone!
If we are humanists, "right to offend" we must protect!
If we are feminists, we need misogyny for justification,
If we are secular, the religious ones have only defect.

If we need a fly-swatter, let's go get a tank;
If we need only reason, let's add little harshness as spice,
If we need just fun, let's grab a gun;
If we really have these as resolutions, won't that be nice?

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Of course, one could argue that do we really need these as resolutions? Our culture seems to be already so much of a reflection of these resolutions. What an AUDACITY Shetubondhon is showing to induce change in our long-standing culture!