Can a spouse wash the
deceased spouse's body?
Some illuminating hadith
Dr. Mohammad Omar Farooq
May 14, 2007
Recently, a Muslim brother wrote to me the following:
While googling, I discovered it. But, I'm not understanding it. Never thought of this issue in the past but it came up during Dr. Kamal wife's burial day before yesterday.Is there any real/clear proof that - husband can not touch his dead wife while the dead body is being put into the burial? How is this "pious" person/any relative becomes a MAHRAM?
I've found the following response in ISNA's QA:Who should enter the grave to lower the body if the deceased is a female?
A: It is desirable that MAHRAMS or close relatives should enter the grave to lower the body into it. The husband of the deceased female should not enter the grave to bury his wife. MAHRAMS are grandfather, father, father's milk-partner, brother, paternal uncle, son, nephew, real maternal uncle, etc. If no such person is available then either any relative or any pious person may lower her into the grave.Q: Is it permissible for a man to bathe his wife's dead body?
A: It is not permissible (i.e,HARAM?) for a husband to bathe his wife after her death. If there are any females, they should do so.
Well, such issues are to be appropriately dealt with by relevant scholars. However, more often than not, traditional positions are quite unnuanced and an educated, but non-scholar Muslim might be at odd with some of these traditional positions. For example, the above Q/A's should have indicated that the answers given there are Hanafi views, not necessarily representing all the schools. Furthermore, even if it were a majority view, there are authentic hadiths that clearly contradict such position.
For those, who just blindly want to know what to do, without asking any question, turn to the scholars one respect and that's the end of it. However, if one wants to what might be the proof or evidence of a specific opinion, even cursory probe can be quite revealing.
On this particular issue, consider the following hadith and pertinent commentary.
Yahya related to me from Malik that he had heard people of knowledge say, "When a woman dies and there are no women with her to wash her and no man who has the right by blood ties to take charge of that for her and no husband to take charge of it for her, she should be purified by tayammum ,that is, by wiping her face and hands with earth."
Malik said, "When a man dies and there are only women with him, they also should purify him with earth ."
Malik said, "There is no particular way with us for washing the dead nor any recognised way to do it. They are just washed and purified." [Book 16, Number 16.1.4; Kitab al-Janaiz/Burial]
It might be another matter of merely preference that has been turned into prohibition. Furthermore, I would not be surprised if the issue of not touching the deceased by the surviving spouse is also based on some overstretched interpretation of our pious predecessors. Also, note that Imam Malik's opinion goes back to Ahl al-Ilm (people of knowledge), not to the Prophet. Interesting, isn't it?
A hadith and an athar in Sunan Ibn Majah from none other than Hadrat Aishah is most revealing in this regard.
Chapter Giving bath by a man to his wife and giving bath by a woman to her spouse.
Aisha is reported to have said, "Had I recollected it in the beginning of my action which I did at the end of it, none besides his wives would have given bath to the Holy Prophet."
As-Sanadi said, "Abu Dawud has transmitted the Hadith. Nevertheless, the author of al-Zawaid has also mentioned it and has said, "Its isnad is good and its authorities are reliable (and authentic) because Muhammad b. Ishaq, despite his being a mudallis, has elucidated the Hadith according to the tradition transmitted by Hakim and other scholars." [Ibn Majah, Vol. 2, #1464]
Aisha is reported to have said: "Allah's Messenger returned from al-Baqi (the believers' graveyards; found me while I was experiencing headache and I was uttering, Ah, my head!" Thereupon, he (the Holy Prophet) said, "Nay, I: Ah my head, O Aisha." Then he observed, "Nothing will harm if you pass away before me. I shall take care of you, I shall give a bath, wrap you in a shroud, invoke blessings upon you (in the funeral prayer) and bury you."
According to al-Zawaid, "The authorities of the isnad are reliable (and authentic). Bukhari has transmitted it in brief from another angle." [Ibn Majah, Vol. 2, #1465] [note: I wasn't able to locate the relevant narration in Bukhari. If anyone can help, please let me know.]
Thus, DIRECTLY from the Prophet, we learn that the husband can wash the body of the wife. Also, from the athar of Hadrat Aisha [#1464], we learn that not only wives can wash the body of the deceased husband, but also that according to her, "none besides his wives would have given bath to the Holy Prophet", which should or can mean that wife has the prerogative or the duty to do so.
The same is reported in Sunan Abu Dawood.
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin:
By Allah, we did not know whether we should take off the clothes of the Apostle of Allah as we took off the clothes of our dead, or wash him while his clothes were on him. When they (the people) differed among themselves, Allah cast slumber over them until every one of them had put his chin on his chest.
Then a speaker spoke from a side of the house, and they did not know who he was: Wash the Prophet while his clothes are on him. So they stood round the Prophet and washed him while he had his shirt on him. They poured water on his shirt, and rubbed him with his shirt and not with their hands. Aisha used to say: If I had known beforehand about my affair what I found out later, none would have washed him except his wives. [Book 20, Number 3135; Kitab al-Janaiz]
The footnote to the above hadith #2614 states:
"Aisha thought about the affair of washing of the Prophet later on and she remembered his tradition which has been narranted by Ibn Majah. ... This shows that a husband can wash his wife and wife her husband. Moreover, Ali washed Fatimah after her death. This is the majority view. According to Abu Hanifah, a wife can wash her husband, but a husband cannot wash his wife. [Vol.2, p. 894]
I did not find anything in Sahih Muslim about this matter one way or another in the chapter on washing of the dead. However, the commentator in Abu Dawood's translation does not provide any information about why did Abu Hanifah held the position as he did.
So, should we blindly follow a stated position? No. Yes, the scholars have the expertise, knowledge and experience to sift through the pertinent information to come up with a position. However, instead of blindly following a position, Muslims should ask pertinent question for corroborating evidence and/or argument.
As far as this issue is concerned, above hadiths are clear. Based on these hadiths, and if there is nothing compellingly contradictory or weightier, spouses not only can, but may even have the duty or prerogative in this regard.
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